Tuesday, August 7, 2012

Object of the Day, Caption Contest: Time in a Bottle

Click image to enlarge.



Oh, Baby-Drinks-A-Lot ™, with your little blue boots and your auburn moustache, you’re just the sweetest little dipsomaniac. There you sit in your highchair, with your bottle of malt liquor—so patient you are. Pour, pour, pour, Baby-Drinks-A-Lot™, your first words are sure to be slurred and your first steps—well, they won’t be a straight line.

What the hell is this? This Victorian trade card, recently added to my collection of odd ephemera, has no printing on the reverse. It was clearly meant to convey some idea, to advertise something. But what? You tell me. It’s the same drill as usual. Post your ideas in the comments section. I can’t wait to see what you come up with.


22 comments:

Shawn said...

That's really not a trade card, but Ernest Hemingway's baby photo... :)

Joseph Crisalli said...

Ha! Yes, it is! Very clever!

Anonymous said...

Now we know what happened to Baby Jane.

Joseph Crisalli said...

That explains a lot.

April said...

No, it's my baby picture.

Joseph Crisalli said...

I believe that.

Dashwood said...

A pictorial Victorian Victor Victoria.

Joseph Crisalli said...

Exactly.

Carolyn said...

No...it's Liza Minnelli's baby photo!

Joseph Crisalli said...

Mama was proud.

Matt said...

The disturbing thing is how matter of fact the baby is about the whole thing. He's already like a hardened drunk. Maybe it's an ad for baby mixers. Instead of pina colada, it's like strained peas and carrot flavor.

Joseph Crisalli said...

Gerber Mixers.

Darcy said...

Little Louie"s School for Baby Bartenders

Calling all tots! Hey kids why wait until you're 21 to learn how to mix drinks and then drink them? Little Louie can show you all you need to know while sitting in the comfort of your own highchair.
After all it's the late 1800's. The child mortality rate is high -you could be swallowed up by giant carnations, or attacked by colossal cutlery or pelted by flowers shot from a cannon. You could even find yourself lost in the SteamPunk Ruffle Zone.
Little Louie can fix it so you won't care a bit.

Joseph Crisalli said...

Darcy for the win! Even incorporating past contest answers! Hooray!

Angelo said...

I think if I had a baby that's what he'd be doing.

Joseph Crisalli said...

It's good to have dreams, Angelo.

Marsha said...

The Dean Martin Preschool

Joseph Crisalli said...

Wonderful!

Barb said...

Baby Beer. Maybe it makes them gassy, but they don't care!

Joseph Crisalli said...

Funny!

Book Gurl said...

Victorian pacifiers.

Joseph Crisalli said...

Now exclusively for adults.